Hello and let me properly introduce myself.
My Hebrew name is “Amana” which comes from the root word “âman [aw-man] (Strongs-Lite H539)” and it means “faith that is firmly established and steadfast through support.”
Long story short… Because of the challenges along the way, especially during these past few months, I am really pushing passed what I really feel like doing; taking a deep, deep breath. I could go on and on about what it is that my soul feels and is trying to get me to walk out. However within the very name (character) that the Most High has given me there lies an answer and it clearly shows the purpose of the challenges I face.
To become ‘Amana’.
To be ‘Amana’.
To live ‘Amana’.
To teach ‘Amana’.
The depth/death of the very things that I face will serve the purpose of bringing forth Amana. Though many things in my life were caused as a result of my own iniquities, the result from my ancestors, and selfish choices that I had made, the Most High will not let even that go to waste. It will serve a purpose and work out for good.
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all matters work together for good to those
who love Elohim, to those who are called according to His purpose. “
So the first act of becoming Amana is this blog. I am firmly establishing to do the thing that I know not how the Most High will use it. In spite of what feelings or emotions come, I will be reminded of who I am to be. I remember the Most High having woke me up one morning and He said “What’s your name?” and this is certainly what I will use as one reminder to fight the soul, as it aims to attack my mind.
I no longer want to be stuck in the same cycle, I have to move forward.
The “living command” is that I start these pages, and that’s what I am doing.
So this is my beginning of my obedience to the Most High.
The beginning of no longer listening to the thought of wanting to die.
The realization that in His purpose will come His ability to do that which He has called me to do.
The reality that I am valued and He is always there to help me get through.
This walk will not be easy and there will be challenges faced.
As His ability is placed within me, so too is His strength!
So in life we will have challenges and there are plenty of times in which many will feel alone; as if they are the only one in the world going through what currently seems to have no end. I have certainly been there; more recent than I want to admit. However these are the very moments that are needed to refine and prune us. This is so we will develop the very character that we were destined to be, to become, to walk out, and to teach to others in some form.
Circumstances can leave you hurt and in emotional pain. Sometimes the only answer for the more trying times does feel like the best way to end it is in death. At other times it does seem to be easier to just quit and give up. Yet what I think about in this moment, is the fact that the Most High believes in what He can do in you from what you go through so much that He allowed it. He knows that this thing was needed in order to make you wiser and righteous; hard to understand and take but true.
Isaiah 55:8
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares יהוה.
THE TRUTH
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in יהוה with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
Know Him in all your ways, And He makes all your paths straight.”
Life for everyone, at some point in time, will have its fill of painful moments that are difficult to endure. At times these moments hurt our very souls so much; we can be left feeling as though we are experiencing what I would call “moments of death.” Though its not as easy to understand or even fathom the way that strength can come within us during this time, its exactly in these moments, when The Most High gives us power to receive something much needed; in the midst of the pain. However, in these moments we believe the lie that things are not going to get any better. We believe that no one has experienced such pain. We believe that our life is hopeless and there is no way out. We believe this is all that we deserve and we are being punished. We focus on the things that are just not fair. Our minds get consumed with the ways that we got hurt and keep asking, why? Many of us even try to figure out things on our own (willpower) and possibly make things worse.
Some of us try to reach out to others that are in similar or worse situations that have no clue on how to guide us out. We read books (other than the bible) figuring that maybe there is some ‘formula’ in the pages we skim through, that will give us a solution or a quick fix. (Many of these resources do help yet there remains a void.) Some time may pass and the pain felt gets suppressed and life at the moment moves on. Yet having never gotten through the situation as we were supposed to, the hurt felt in that moment, later comes back to the surface; to be dealt with. Time after time, as these situations come and are not faced, they only make us worse on the inside and hinder us from reaching our full potential in life. These open wounds need to be healed and not handling life correctly, in the midst of the pain, only causes our internal selves to be infected by an unneeded growth. (Example: unforgiveness, shame, resentment, anger, bitterness, etc.)
What I speak here is based off of what I have went through, am going through, and am learning about myself; as well as others along the way. I do not pretend to know everything, and only speak based off of experience; however it is my firm belief that, there is so much truth gained through revelation and The Word that can help get to the core of what you face. Yet as the scripture above mentions, you must trust with all your heart (mind) in The Most High and it is then that things crooked begin to be made straight for you in life. If we trust Him that much, then in those moments that feel like “death” we are able to take what ounce of trust is left and cry out Him. And that is what I did and still do each day.
Is it easy? No. Does it still hurt? Yes. Yet the mind (heart) has to begin to focus on finding His solution, His will, His answer to it all; and be still knowing that the pain is only temporary and will work out for our good through obedience.
So a hint of this blog is my journey of exactly that; in the midst of my pain, the words expressed best with how I was able to get through all that could have destroyed me. It will also include many other ideas and things that I learn along the way, however the beginning of its purpose, lies in what I learned/am still learning, in the midst of my pain. I hope that in some way that this can bless you and give you hope, knowing that what is possible within my life is also available to you.
So though you may not be able to understand it; just continue to ask for the strength to endure it, so that you may become what the Most High has already seen. You will get through it and move onto the next thing that He wants to work on within you. It’s a tough process, however it does get easier. So I have been told!