Things had become so overwhelming to me.
My life I wanted no more.
So many battles in my mind I could not face alone.
So I cried out to YAH MY ELOHIM.
Emotions started to take over me and I felt weak.
Couldn’t breathe.
I cried and called out to the only one that could deliver my need.
Why did I feel so helpless?
Why did my mind feel so weak?
On my knees, emotionally drained.
I longed for something to pick me up; some other kind of strength.
I look at the razor, I reached over to take hold of the pills.
My mind going through the battle that was not mine to deal – with.
What do I do Elohim? Why can’t I see your face?
Is my life worth keeping, because I can’t feel any peace.
I know you have a reason for creating me to be who I am.
Help me to hold back the pain I am about to cause with my hands.
You promise to never leave me and to guide me all the way through.
Something keeps telling me to end my life, what do I do?
I cried.
I cried.
I cried.
I cried.
I cried all day.
I could not gain the strength to praise.
So the next day came and I cried again.
Thinking more about life and how I wanted so much more.
I begin to hear a small voice say, “Pick up your Bible and read Psalm 23 verses 1-4.
I read it and I cried some more.
On my knees I went for a while and not one word could I say.
Then with my tears I expressed “Thank You for listening to me and understanding my pain.”
“You heard me YESHUA. You knew my thoughts about death.”
“You led me to your WORD and expressed that you were not done with me yet.”
Someone may not understand what I feel.
Someone may not be there to listen, but “You Elohim, carried me and your love is what keeps me here.”
“If there isn’t one person in this world who feel that “a lot” is what I am worth.”
“To know that you have compassion for me and a purpose, I can continue to move forward.”
“I don’t need to end my life.”
“Because You have offered to take all of my pain.”
“And because You are willing, I can give you the glory that only You deserve and all the praise.”